Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating
Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Before you go on this date, make sure you agree with yourself. When you have to make a decision, you don’t want to

be caught fighting yourself over a decision. Decide ahead of time what behaviors and situations are acceptable to you

and what are not. As long as you feel and that these boundaries have not been violated, you can relax and

flow with what is happening. However, once a line is crossed, you must be willing to control yourself and not simply

go along with something that you find offensive, unacceptable or dangerous.

You’ll likely be nervous when you’re dating someone new, and knowing what your boundaries are can help you stay

safe and get this relationship off to a good start. If you’ve already decided on your limits and thought about how

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

you’ll deal with when a limit is crossed, you’ll already know what to do and you won’t have to find your answers

instantly. This is very helpful if you are nervous, excited, or unable to think clearly. I normally recommend meeting

in person as soon as possible because you get so many cues, including pheromones, that you can’t get it over the

phone, text, email, or video. However, these are not normal times, and we are sheltering somewhere, so we’re outside

face-to-face unless you want to risk getting within six feet of each other. Remember that people can be infected and

they don’t know it, so be extra careful. Online dating is the best option as you can connect via video, phone, text, and

email. The face-to-face meetings should be postponed until the isolation process is over. While most people are sincere,

remember that some bad actors can fake things and mislead you.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating
Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

I. Here are some examples of setting clear, healthy boundaries for yourself in a new relationship:

Deciding to keep yourself safe by maintaining social distancing and wearing a mask. If wearing a mask bothers you,

deciding ahead of time that you’re going to wear a mask (you can choose one to match your outfit, be artistic, or

make a statement) means you’ll keep yourself safe and put on shows. Your appointment and you care about your

health. If you are going to drink or eat something, remove the mask and put it back on. Masks are required in most places you go.

Deciding how much and what to eat and drink. This prevents you from drinking too much or eating things that

might be wrong for you because you feel caught off guard on the date. For example, if your date recommends an

unfamiliar restaurant, you’ll be more comfortable knowing your food and beverage preferences beforehand.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Deciding not to get in the car with someone you just met and don’t know well.

That means you won’t be subject to drunk driving, bad behavior, or just plain bad driving with a stranger.

Deciding to meet in public only until you have a chance to get to know the person you are meeting.

This keeps you safe and helps keep things within limits. This will also aid social distancing until we know more about

how well this date is protecting itself and therefore you.

Deciding when it is appropriate to have s ex. If you know ahead of time that you won’t be having s ex until a few

dates, you won’t be likely to make bad decisions when you’re emotionally charged.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Deciding to set a spending limit. Before dating someone, you need to know how much you want to spend.

If your date has more money and is spending it lavishly on you, you need to let him know that you won’t reciprocate

the date or that the reciprocation will be a home-cooked meal for a fancy restaurant. How you and your date handle

money and how you can discuss money is a critical component to knowing if you will be successful in a relationship.

After a few appointments, you can discuss financial matters (for example, you have a good job but want to pay off

student loans or save for a home situation.)

II. A guide to dating safely (physically and emotionally) in a time of COVID-19

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Dating

Be skeptical, don’t be naive. When meeting guys online, you have no way of knowing who they are. Sending naive

people money, marrying them, etc. There are documented cases of prisoners cheating online for Don’t be afraid to ask

for details, Google any date that interests you enough, ask to talk to your friends and family members. Don’t keep

secrets about your potential date.

Be realistic, not romantic. Don’t develop a fantasy about history until you know the facts. It can be a tough world

out there, and being realistic helps you achieve real goals like a loving relationship.

Focus on friendship. Focus on developing friendships. Romance comes later after you check out your date and meet

in person.

Don’t say too much about your date.

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